Recently a Gen X friend and I were discussing our tendency to be judgemental of other people’s poor spelling. I was trying to turn us into better people, and remind him that some people find spelling hard; some are poorly educated; some are dyslexic. However much we might be people who find great joy in the nuance and precision afforded by the English language, perhaps we ought not to place so much weight on perfect spelling, or at least try to find more tolerance in our hearts.
He responded: ‘But I like it when you are judgemental. Mostly.’
Of course, I could not that let lie. What did he mean by ‘mostly’, I texted back swiftly. The reply came: ‘Well, not when you are judgemental on woke/millennial things.’
I was floored! Had I really just been told that being judgemental about poor spelling is a good thing, but being judgemental over social injustice is not? He got a rapid – and judgemental – response, probably tinged with a hefty dose of passive aggression.
Am I too judgemental?
But it did leave me thinking. Am I too judgemental? I claim to be keen on openness and dialogue, but perhaps my judgements are fairly firmly entrenched. I seek to be generous, but how much do my judgemental responses get in the way of that?
Yet, on reflection, I still think he is profoundly wrong. If I am going to be judgemental about anything, it is going to be on so-called ‘woke/millennial’ issues. I am judging because I am angry, and I am angry because I am paying attention. I firmly believe in judging the injustices we see, finding fault, and seeking to fix them, to do better. There is plenty of misplaced judgement around, but this should not prevent us judging where it is due. I don’t believe this excludes dialogue. Most of all, I really believe that the person whom I judge the most is myself.
So, what are the things I am judging? What are these ‘woke/millennial’ issues about which I supposedly go on and on? I have reflected, and I think these, in no particular order, are my top five.
The Patriarchy
Buffering the Vampire Slayer, perhaps my favourite podcast, limits itself to saying ‘the patriarchy’ once in every episode, and perhaps there is a lesson for me to learn here! I am not trying to blame the problems of the world solely on the continuing dominance of the patriarchy, but of the things that make me angry on a daily basis, this would be pretty high up the list.
From the devastating influence of middle-aged white men in power across the world to the sexism I encounter every day, the limiting of women’s rights and the crushing of women’s power are the evil products of this institution, and they affect both men and women alike. Although its face may change, we may think we see progress, the foundational nature of the patriarchy seems immoveable. It contributes not only to the subjugation of women but to the perpetuation of toxic masculinity, which in turn destroys individuals and prevents peace and progress.
I call out the worst sexism where I see it on a daily basis, especially in a highly patriarchal workplace, and yet I also judge myself constantly. In what ways do I collude? Sometimes I know I am just too tired to call it out every time. As an educator, in particular, am I doing anything to free my students from toxic gender expectations and to empower them to break free of constraints and stereotypes placed on them from an early age? Am I constantly educating them to challenge the patriarchy, or are there things in my own behaviour and failings that reinforce this face of society?
Issues of gender and sexuality
Across the UK, we are seeing regression in our open-mindedness towards how we treat people on account of their gender, especially trans and non-binary people, and their sexuality. From the handling of gender recognition in parliament to the rise in transphobic violence and hostility, to the conflicts over introducing Relationships and Sex Education in schools and the use of public platforms such as JK Rowling’s, there is so much to be angry about. Most of all I find myself judging the extent of people’s ignorance, which compounds their fear.
And yet I judge myself over this, too. I have been able to become much more open about my own queer sexuality. Nevertheless, I have failed to convince my parents to come even close to accepting that I am attracted to other genders than men. I am not out at work, even though I know I have students crying out for an LGBTQ+ role model. I did not make as big a fuss as I should have when I made a serious report about homophobia in the workplace and it was brushed under the carpet.
Racism and BLM allyship
Like many people, I felt a huge wave of hope, as well as terrible sadness, in the upsurge of the Black Lives Matter movement in 2020. And yet I feared, too, that the show of allyship among white supporters was as much virtue-signalling as it was any real force for change. Only a few months on, and I worry that momentum is being lost as those who, like me, wanted to do better and become active allies have fallen by the wayside. I judge myself for continuing to put the responsibility for delivering change on to the black community. It worries me that I am sliding into unhelpful patterns of guilt rather than action.
While I strive to educate myself, I feel like I fail to make any progress when converting apathetic or even racist views among those around me. Am I turning my judgement into any sort of useful action? I have tried to work anti-racism into my classroom, but have made little progress in its overall place in the departments I manage. I judge our failure to do more and do better, but it is anti-racist action that is needed.
Climate crisis
The climate crisis is a race issue. It is a gender issue. And it is a millennial issue because we must be the generation who step up, become adults, and show leadership. Older generations have failed; it is generation Z who are calling out the most for change. Where are millennials in all this?
Most of all this is the issue that must, of all those I have listed, be addressed now. I know I pass a lot of judgement on others, especially government and corporations. I also judge individuals: I struggle with the failure to change diets; to address consumerism; to see the bigger picture.
And yet I also pass judgement on myself, for every time I choose an easier option rather than the more environmentally-friendly one. For every time I let slide the habits in my highly un-environmentally-aware workplace. For patting myself on the back for driving an EV while basking in the warmth of my central heating. And yet, again, it is not guilt that will make a difference, it is education, it is noise, and it is action.
Inequality and poverty
All the issues I have listed come together when I judge my country for allowing so much inequality and poverty to exist and to grow. There are areas in which I try to offer support, both through education and through financial contribution. My particular focus for judgement and action is homelessness, which I truly believe can be eradicated. We are also watching the fallout from a government unwilling to prioritize feeding children over school holidays, another indicator of the attitude to the poor among our current government.
As with all the issues, these are not concerns for millennials alone, and I do not claim some sort of privileged ownership or responsibility for them. But we are a generation coming to maturity. There is no longer the excuse to blame solely the older generation of decision-makers. We are coming to an age where we must start to try to be those decision-makers. What kind of a world do we want to live in? We have children now: what kind of a world do we want to leave them?
So am I a woke, judgemental millennial?
Yes, I am a woke, judgemental millennial. And, Gen X friends, I will not apologize for being so. It’s not a popular move to condone judgementalism because it is so often misplaced judgement that permeates society. However, maybe we need to consider where judgement is due. I intend to continue to judge the world around me, and to do so loudly. I believe that as long as those judgements are well-informed, undertaken within dialogue, and focused on ending injustice, they are valid. Yet I also promise to continue to judge myself.
None of these judgements is enough in itself. Calling out injustice is good, but we must caution ourselves against virtue-signalling. We must pass judgement where we see failings in our world that we want to see change. But most of all we must judge ourselves and make changes. And our judgements must be a call to action. And the ones who must respond to the call are our own generation.